What happened in April

This month started out with April Fool’s Day, and for the first time I realized how much I seriously dislike that particular holiday. Maybe I’m just the model April Fool, but I was just ticked that I couldn’t trust any of my friend’s announcements of boyfriends, engagements, and pregnancies—even when they are accompanied by ultrasound pictures in the email. Lame.

General Conference weekend was fun with Dale’s Mom—Wendy—in town. We watched from home, and weaved baskets out of recycled trash baskets. Dale got really into it. We dyed eggs for Easter with Sean and Emily (some of our closest neighbors) and played games making baskets where Dale and I shopped for each other on a $4 budget. Easter Sunday woke up to hidden candy in makeshift baskets out of purses and milk jugs—no I will not post the pictures, as I’m still shiny and frizzy in each one of them! :P We got together with Lindy, Shane, and Wendy (Dale’s family) for a traditional family dinner of ham and marshmallow fluff, and visited for the holiday evening.


My brother Jeremy announced that he’s publishing his dissertation (that took him the last half a dozen years, it seems), my brother Ian’s wife, Alex, gave birth to twins, and Jeremy turned 31 on the 12th. My sister Nanette is going to Ghana for a humanitarian trip, and my siblings and I got together through a 3 week long email conference to choose a middle name to give my mother for her birthday this month and finally pared it down to 5 names for her to choose from. Lots of fun guys! I really enjoyed it. Mom’s Birthday, Dale’s Finals, Dale’s graduation, Dale’s interviews.

We went out for dates at hole-in-the-wall Provo places, took walks, and went to some awesome jazz concerts on campus. Signed up for Summer and Fall graduate school classes, bought books, and apartment hunted in Salt Lake.


I was awarded an internship with a stipend for my MSW program starting in August. Big news for anyone trying to pay tuition. I’ll be at ARTEC with SLC Valley Mental Health, hopefully in their Substance Abuse Treatment Center.

Somewhere in there I’ve been experimenting with breakfast foods. I successfully made peach syrup out of canned peaches, did the 10-day process for Amish Friendship Bread, and unsuccessfully tried to make marmalade syrup by sending an orange through the food processor and simmering it down with sugar…

The month will finish off with a Graduation/Anniversary trip to Vegas this weekend! More info to come when we’ve gotten back!


P.S. Happy Birthday Ian!


Hurrah for spring!

My husband graduated college this weekend!!

And I’m SO excited for him. At first, you’re looking at it, and as finals are done, the graduation ceremony seems like an arbitrary day passing by—I mean, you don’t even get your diploma until weeks later—but the rite of passage has been completed, and now he will be a college graduate for the rest of his life. Dale’s parents came into town (great to see you guys!), and I took a day off work because there is NO way I am going in to work on the day my husband is graduating college. We heard the speakers, he wore the gown, we celebrated at Olive Garden for dinner, and then in true Dale celebration style, we watched movies and ate Doritos and iced cream until we crashed!

Great Weekend, Great Accomplishment, Great Husband.

Imagine your world without a car or phone

The basic needs of a surviving individual are food, shelter, and clothing. There are people all around us who are scraping by or struggling for this level of existence, but this post is not a bout for pity or guilt.


The next basic needs of a functioning individual are food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and communication. If you can manage these basic functioning needs, then you are seen as a successful person and can make it on your own.

Think about it. I, for one, feel a stab of emotion when thinking of what it might be like to live homeless, or on the street. I also can faintly imagine what it is like to be REALLY hungry, and exposed to the elements because I don’t have the proper clothing. But I don’t really think about my survival on the same level when I think of having a car and a phone.

I used to gripe about my teaching pool on my mission, how we couldn’t get people to meet their commitments because they just plain didn’t have resources to get to church. I remember glorying in one particular woman because she was a person we baptized with a job, a car, and a phone. She would therefore be able to be a strength to the ward.

I would gripe because their physical living circumstances were not my profession at that point. I was focusing on their spiritual functioning and hope.

I have since been involved with people’s physical needs, and attempting to promote their social functioning, not merely survival. When someone comes to my desk and has somewhere to live and can function within their food stamps grant, I think of them as pretty safe. They can use a family member or a neighbor to leave messages, and I can get them a bus pass. I have not yet met someone who didn’t have life-sustaining clothing, but I can get a woman 10 sets of work clothing per year if needed. If I ever get to that point, I’m sure I’ll find something.

But think about how hard that would be. You are in a place where you need state help, perhaps you have a child you’ve never needed to care for before, and this drastically changes your needs. Maybe your mother is now sick and someone needs to stay home and take care of her. Your phone has been cancelled and you can’t afford gas money for your car. You’re surviving through the grace of food stamps and a $400 monthly financial grant, but there are these letters that keep coming in the mail asking you to fill out papers and call in for interviews to clarify the last papers you filled out. If you don’t respond to any one of these within 10 days, your benefits will be closed.

Think about doing all of that and trying to get a job. First step: go to the library to use their computers (if you even have computer skills), and let’s say you get an interview! You need to take the bus 45 minutes and 3 connections to get there. More likely, this bus ride will be just to fill out an application because most people I see in this situation can’t navigate a keyboard, much less attach and email a functioning resume.

Next step, have a phone number for them to call you back on. …um. There is your neighbor who has agreed to let people call their phone to leave messages for you, but she’s not too prompt or organized with your calls, and you’re starting to feel like a pest.

You can imagine how difficult this becomes. Walking to fill out applications, waiting for phone calls, and still trying to find a way to pay the utilities each month.

Just think about how life would be without your car. Would you be able to get to work/the grocery store? Once you’d lost your job, how long would your savings hold out until you were on the other side of a desk like mine? Would you walk to every employment opportunity imaginable and take whatever you could? Imagine how your life would be different. And then once you’ve gotten that job, imagine living on $1000 per month—what one earns in a full-time minimum wage job after taxes. That translates into $12,000 per year. Imagine how you would ever get out of that.

All I’m saying is, be grateful for your phone and car.

A lack of child care is a whole different story.

Last Day of School

Today I saw my husband off to his last day of college.

I’m so proud of him! That may sound a little corny and intense, but it really is fun for me.

Dale and I are really close, and it’s great to see what a sweet best friendship we are developing. He tells me all about his worries and tries, and he comforts and spoils me when I’m freaking out. He tells me all about his classes and the crazy characters who attend… and of course, how much he wants to be DONE. After having been with him for half of his college experience, I think I’m more excited than he is that he’s graduating!

Dale has been working on a Bachelor’s of Business Management—Human Resources since Fall of 2004. He took 2 years off for a mission in the Czeck Republic and Slovakia, but since then it’s been semester after semester. I’m excited for him to stop, take some time off, and enjoy life for a few weeks before diving in to full time employment.

When I graduated a year ago, I wasn’t too excited about it either. Partially because I had JUST finished scheduling every moment of my life studying for tests and completing assignments, and still had to study for and take a national licensing exam before I was really finished, and I was getting married the week after —my brain was so full of intellectual tasks that I didn’t have time to process excitement!

To celebrate and help Dale know how much I appreciated him sticking it out and finishing a degree, we’re taking a long weekend to VEGAS!! In three weekends, Dale, myself, and another couple are gonna get out of Utah for an adventure somewhere warmer. I want to go swimming because I am hot, and see buildings that were built for form rather than function.

Dale, babe, I’m proud of you, and am so excited for us both!

What we’re doing now

Dale and I have transitioned into a routine that is different than our efforts even 6 months ago. And none of you guys know about it.


First thing you should know is that Dale and I are a team. Our goal is to one day have a family.

Working towards that Goal, Dale has been working on finishing his degree, and I (who finished my undergrad in April ’09) have been working at Utah Department of Workforce Services.

Dale wakes up with me Monday through Thursdays at 6:00am, even though he doesn’t have class until 8:00am. I work 10 hour shifts and commute into Salt Lake, and the marathon work weeks are so much more of a comfort when Dale is there with me in the morning to share in teases and hug in passing. We get out the door (hopefully) before 6:45am, and hold hands in the car until I have to drop him off at school.

I make it 38.7 miles into work by speeding, tailgating, and cutting off those who dare to venture under 75 in the fast lane (hopefully) on time at 7:30am. The workday is usually a blur, but I’m developing jokes with my co-workers, and occasionally I get to see people who have been in crisis as they get jobs and begin to be able to meet their bills.

I call him on my morning and afternoon breaks and I like to be involved in his life and have him hear about mine, even though we spend half of the week away from each other.

While I’m gone Dale has been studying and going to class, walking back and forth to our apartment and exercising on our retro 90’s Nordic Track. He produces top grade quality papers and homework assignments in record time, usually able to clean up the house and find something fun for us to do that night and be free for me when I get home.

I make it back (usually) by 7:00pm and am always welcomed by a husband who drops everything to let me melt into a cuddly hug. Our evenings are filled with good food, friends, and entertainment, and Dale helps me by going to bed with me by 9:30 each night. So proud of my selfless husband, and so lucky to be with him.

Weekends are spent recovering from the marathon, usually in a coma and appreciating several good movies and online TV shows.

Yeah, not too adventurous, but it's our life, and we're being happy. I thought the world could use a little more of the simple sweetness in what I posted today.