After realizing that the first birthday had come where I no longer felt that it was cool to identify with my college years, I've had to re-assess what I consider to be my developing identity. At this juncture, a lot of my current identity can be illustrated in this video:
What this reveals about my identity:
-I am a student of the arts of cooking. I say student because I definitely acknowledge that I have a lot to learn. I love it, I feel it is a recreational activity as well as a daily requirement to feed my family, and although what I make isn't always pretty, 95% of the time it's tasty as hell.
-I am capable, resourceful, independent, and frugal as well as whimsical and trivial.
2. I look like hell. I had just finished a full day's worth of emotionally draining, hard work. The cake is also missing the frosting lettering that I would have done if I had had an afternoon off to work on it, and still kind of wish that I had taken the time to do for myself. I am in my pajamas and generally ready to let my body have what it wants: lounge time.
What this reveals about my identity:
-I work hard, I am busy often, but I still make it a point to complete the rituals of celebration because I feel that treating yourself like a human being is vital.
-I spend most evenings in PJs, recovering from the work day
3. Dale sings to me and I laugh and make eyes at him.
What this reveals about my identity:
-I love my husband.
-I like my husband.
-I am a woman and he makes me feel powerfully feminine.
-We have fun together.
On a daily basis, these are the aspects of my identity which I feel the most. Of course I have more that I define myself by--I'm saving up to purchase a harp, I talk WAY too much, I read novels excessively, I love to collect art and decorate my apartment, I am honing the professional skills of helping people, I fiercely miss my family of origin--but those are all not day-in-day-out activities.
I have, of course, had more that defined me in years past, but--as I said--27 is no longer an age to define yourself by being a successful single adult, flirtatious, or histrionic. There was a lot of insecurity which being happily married eliminates. Now that I know what I am and what I am no longer, that leaves me with a void in the years ahead of me.
I want to be:
Patient
Intelligent, but know how to curb the expression of knowledge for times when it will amplify a conversation among equals.
Richly celebratory. I want to have regular, big celebrations of life. I want to travel with my husband. Locally and abroad.
Professional. I have chosen to be a social worker and I am learning from my professional superiors that there is a lot that I can learn from them.
Loving. I intend to be a family woman.
Spiritual. This will take soul searching of the adult variety. Not merely actively participating in the rituals of Christian Scholarship, but allowing God to answer questions.
Positive. I want to laugh more. Not from the shallow deconstruction of another at their expense, but laugh because the world is optimistic and there are things to learn.
Excited
Restful--Anxiety in hand.
Anxiously engaged in service
Responsible--more active and reliable in my current opportunities for involvement.
I could keep going. There is always the dynamic and colorful concept of what you'd like to be and I'd love to keep on exploring it, but if I continue then the concept will remain just that--inconcrete and unobtained.
This is a good start though. I'll have to check in on my next birthday and see how things have developed. It looks like a good list to describe an admirable adult, and makes looking forward to scarey numbers like 38 or (heaven forbid) 42 a little more hopeful.
What do you think you'd like to enhance in yourself in the coming years?
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