BBC believes people are stupid. I've read 32% of your snooty book list: Take THAT BBC!

Just because I have seen other people do this, and I keep wondering how I would do if I REALLY counted:

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. Have you read more than 6 of these books? Bold those books you've read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read an excerpt.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen


2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien


3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte


4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling


5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible


7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis


34 Emma -Jane Austen


35 Persuasion - Jane Austen


36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell


42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding


50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
 
It'd be even more than that if they included the ones I've seen the movie for!  There are some good ones on here that I haven't considered recently... May be a good guide for my late winter book reading!

"The Bane of a Fake Date"

Found this written by one Jessica Hoopes and posted on Facebook.  I find it hilarious, and share it in hopes that this posting will expand her fame and future as a blogger extraordinaire. 

I AM happily married right now, but this brings back memories.  Just for the record: Dale asked me on our first date via text message, but on Wednesday, not Friday night.

"Ok fellas, you know the drill. There you are, fresh off the mish, looking for your eternal companion. Lo and behold, an angel appears....

WHOA WHOA WHOA REWIND! (sound effect of record disc being stopped abruptly)

Who we trying to kid here? no way! you are home and you are FREEEEEEE! so thus pose the next dilemma: Commandment: multiply and replenish the earth.
Desire: Playtime! -perhaps potential arm candy on the side.

Ok ladies, you know the drill. You're focused on school and your career right now, and you love being single. However, you are young and energetic and open for something new.

So there you are, it's 9:30 on a Friday night. -Note: just late enough that you're about to not make plans because you need to be in the library early on Saturday morning anyway to study for that big test that's gonna land you that sweet job you want.

You start getting ready for bed, maybe a quick hour of Grey's Anatomy and Ben&Jerry's; we have all done it.

10:30 p.m. -commence annoying cell phone beep of an inbox about to be completely bombarded

Here it comes. You KNEW it was going to happen.*
*Names have been changed to maintain confidentiality
Bill: "hey"  (how original and inspired, yet expected every Friday night for weeks on end)
Charlie: "What's goin on?" (it's Friday night, what do you think? Also an anticipated text.)
Fred: "Hey pretty girl, whatcha doin tonight?" (You're thinking, I have looked the same since 11th grade and you STILL have never asked me out)

But lady, after several years of experience, you know how to make this go down. Though all of these boys are potentially attractive, successful, charismatic partners, you know that it would be completely socially unacceptable to 1.) admit to not having plans on a Friday night, and 2.) accept shoddy effort and set yourself up for a lifetime of Fake Dates. That's right. Fake.

As every BYU student has undoubtedly heard from one religion professor or another, dates are as mentioned: Planned, Paired off, and Paid for.

Simple, right? Wrong. Apparently many of our fellow students on campus have failed to acknowledge this brilliant piece of advice. Favorite lines include the following:

• "hey, wanna come over and watch a movie?" -it's now 11:30 p.m. Common knowledge prime movie time.
• "I don't have any food, but if you wanna bring some cookies and come over that would be great!"
• "Oh, and bring your roommate if she wants to come"
• "I'm bored" 
• "What of the color of your toothbrush?"
• "Hey, it's been a while!" (since when? your last text like this? yeah. approximately seven days.)
• "Hey, when are we ever gonna chill?"
• "I miss you" interchangeable with "i miss your face"
• "Hey, do you wanna come sleep in my bed?" (WTF? HELL-O! NO!)
• "Hey let's be spontaneous and get Betos at midnight!"
• "wanna go hike the Y?" (code for: prep yourself, I am about to DTR you.)
• "The stars are really bright tonight" (there is snow on the ground. no WAY am I hanging out outside.)
• "Hey you" (handy, easy mass text)
• "I just heard something interesting about you that I think you should know about"
• "So i met your friend _____ tonight" (boy you once hooked up with. awkward.)
• "Hey, do you wanna do somethin?"
• "Hey, I know we had plans, but I don't really feel like doing anything. Wanna just come over?"

So in case any of you ladies are still wondering what to do in this situation, the answer is this:
9:30 p.m .  question:  "hey, what are you doing?"
12:00 a.m. response: "getting ready for bed. good night."

Wow

Chuck Norris to become honorary Texas Ranger

Thursday, December 02, 2010

TEXAS -- Actor Chuck Norris for years played a Texas Ranger on television. Now he's going to become one in real life.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry is scheduled to present the actor and executive director of "Walker, Texas Ranger" with a designation as an honorary member of the famed law enforcement group Thursday.

Ceremonies to honor the 70-year-old martial arts star and entertainment action hero, who is known for doing good and going after bad guys and gals in the long-running TV series, will take place at a Texas Rangers office in suburban Dallas.

Perry also will honor the actor's younger brother, 59-year-old stunt coordinator and producer Aaron Norris, as an honorary Texas Ranger. http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news%2Fentertainment&id=7820630&rss=rss-wabc-article-7820630

Weather Report: Blizzard

It's a snow day in Utah today.  I am excused from work, and Dale is excused from the commute. 

Unfortunately the plant that I have succored for the last 9 months was left outside for too long and froze.   I took it in last night to thaw, and I'm hoping it will survive!

I just thought that this happy (and sad) situation merited a picture in the Weather Report entry.

Gratitude

In an infrequent act of high class, Steven Colbert invited a soldier onto his show and spent the last third of his weekly episode interviewing him.  This soldier merited such an invitation because he had been awarded the highest metal of honor that a soldier can be given in the United States.  No other living soldier has received this award in over 40 years.

Check it out:

http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/thu-november-18-2010-salvatore-giunta

Easy as pie?

Previous to today, I have attempted to make pie once in my life.

The year was 2007, I was a missionary with limited time and no access to recipes.  The ward I was serving in at the time was giving away pies for Father's Day.  I knew all of the crust basic ingredients so made a shortening/flour salt mixture at a ratio that "looked good" and tried to roll it out with a cup onto a floured tile countertop, for the lack of a rolling pin or cheese cloth.

The filling was fresh apples and sugar.  I had no idea what else to stick in there.

When I finished my pie crust dough attempt, it wouldn't stick together and was "flaky" to the point that I had to piece it together in the pie tin like a disappointing checker board.  (I was using a take out container--much like the ones you get from Cafe Rio--as a pie plate, mind you)

I tried to make up for the lack of filling ingredients by arranging the apple slices in a concentric circle pattern.  Looked great before I cooked it.  After I cooked it, the pretty apple slice pattern had wilted and shrunk to about 3/4 an inch of "filling." 

Let's just say it was pretty pathetic.

I followed a recipe this time.  It still took 3 hours just to get it into the oven. It was amazing.  It's gone now.  I'll make another one on Thursday, and eat it all again.

Airplane security goes overboard

What I learned from the stories included below: 

1. Don't wear a skirt to the airport (I did do this once while returning from my mission, and was sent to a telephone booth-type box where air was blown up my skirt Marilyn Monroe style.  I was uncomfortable and embarrassed in front of the 5 elders I was traveling home with.).

2. If you have knee surgery, somehow that relates to someone having to stick their hand in your pants in order to protect security.

3. ... you HAVE to read that one yourself.

I remember a couple of years ago when TSA was criticized for racial insensitivity when they searched a Muslim woman wearing a burka.  Profiling concerns aside, they asked the woman to remove her robe so she could be searched underneath.  When she had problems with that, they offered to take her into a private room where she would be searched by a female guard.  This was compared to "asking an American woman to expose her breasts in public."  Of course TSA would never go that far...

Read the last story of the three on there.  Reports are it's only getting more and more common.

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_story.aspx?storyid=140233&catid=14

http://www.kmov.com/news/mobile/Woman-says-her-Lambert-security-screening-was-sexual-assault--109114934.html
...
http://www.wbtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=13534628

Pasta

Dale and I went to have our winter tires installed last weekend at Costco.  To the informed reader, that statement is a precursor to an intense afternoon.  For the rest of you, I'll explain.  We had decided to change the tires on both of our cars cause snowy weather was scheduled for early in the following week.  Apparently we weren't the only ones to hear that hyper exclusive weather report, and there was a 3 hour wait until our car would be done.  Seeing as how we had a lot of market research to do, and since Costco is a pretty diverse warehouse, I thought we'd fill all of that time productively.

WRONG!!!  Turns out "market research" fills all of 20 minutes if they don't have what you want.  We ended up buying a whole bunch of non-essentials, including one shrinkwrapped package including roughly 200 ounces of assorted pastas.  In the last week we've had alfredo, tomato-alfredo 2x, marinara sauce, spicey parmesan shells, stroganoff, and pesto chicken.... good eating, but I'm running out of ideas.  Any suggestions of how to make pasta other than the above?

Ug.

On Sunday night I realized that I have 4 papers, two presentations and two final exams all in the next 3.5 weeks. 

...This is the moment I remember why people don't go back to school once having graduated.

Newborns

My husband's sister gave birth last week, and we got to see Baby Mae at 4 days old, as soon as the family was up to having company.  I got to hold her and she is sweet and perfect.  A little too perfect actually. 

When I think of newborns, I think of a fragile swolen little thing with quivering arms and closed eyes, swaddled in warm but absorbant blankets so they won't hurt themselves by moving around too much.

I don't know, I guess I thought it was like having prune fingers after swimming, just that babies had it for longer cause they were in all that fluid for 9 months rather than a few hours.

Mae was a c-section.  She got too big too fast in her momma's belly. 
Several of my college friends have been giving birth in the last month, and while reviewing facebook pictures, etc, I found what my previous schema of child birth has been: wrinkled, white and pink all over the place, etc.
 
I came to the conclusion that vaginal child birth is harder on the baby than I had previously supposed.  Maybe they're both equally hard.  It's entirely possible.  But squooshing a baby through a space that is not supposed to be baby sized never hit me as traumatic for the child until I felt suprized at seeing a baby who didn't have the signs of child birth as I had expected them. 
 
It then occurred to me that babies are formed pretty perfectly in a momma's belly... it's just the method of exit.  Poor babies.  Let's be nice to them.

Dale, Alana, and All

1. Dale had 5 interviews in the first week of October for jobs that were better than Tech Support at Teleperformance!

2. Among those was one IDEAL position that Dale fit 98% of what Dale had been hoping for.

3. Dale got hired on his second interview with Eleutian Technologies as an HR Assistant Manager! Hired on Friday at 4:30pm, started on Monday at 9:00am.

4.  Dale got to quit Teleperformance and shift work.

5. Dale begins to leave for work an hour early in the morning because he's so excited to get to work and get things moving.

1. Alana is at Midterms of Grad school for Social work.  I have a week off for Fall Break, but can't bring myself to do homework like I probably should.  Really, I only need a 3.0, and I'm fairly confident that my half-effort work is still a C in half of my classes, and an A in the other half.

2. Alana gets her first client on her own caseload this week.  Practicing Therapist, here I come!

1. We find out we're not alone in the Activities Committee Calling, and that the Ward is really excited for any party we can invite them to.  Hurrah for an entertainment starved audience!

2. We've had house guests every weekend for the past four weeks.  Upcoming weekend: Just us. Quite an adventure, but it'll be nice to sleep in again.



Biggest things for Dale, i guess, but it really affects both of us.  We're still trying to calculate what this will mean for our budding family.  Trying to go to London in May, now actually a possibility for us, but waiting on the travel arrangements to confirm.  I still have class, calling, and husband to work on and with, so I haven't really been able to slow down and look at our life plans.  I graduate with my MSW in 10 months... although it seems to really be creeping by.  I need to find a hobby or get back into running or something.  Seems like all responsibilities and no interests right now.  If there are any suggestions let me know.  I'm not complaining, just describing.  Really...

In an effort to make myself a better person: Deep Thought

"God asks us to give thanks," she said. "Even when we have little to be thankful for."
She also spoke of the responsibility individuals have to recognize and develop their talents, and to avoid comparing themselves to others.

"Find your gifts and talents, acknowledge them, develop them and use them to develop His kingdom," she said. "Gratitude is a commandment ... may we all have a grateful heart, count our blessings and use our talents to bless others."

--Sharon G. Samuelson, BYU devotional, 9/7/10

Disembark: Graduate Style

Big changes, all!  My last day of work at DWS passed on 8/23/10, I turned in my ID card and employee access pass, and took home my beloved office plant (more on the beloved plant to follow).

I then reported the next day to be a Master of Social Work Intern at VMH, ARTEC, ASAP!!!  Basically, for 20 hours a week, I work as an adolescent substance abuse counselor at Salt Lake City's public Mental Health facility.  I'm in training now, but I'll eventually get a caseload of my own.  I've already seen that these kids are smart, and have a lot of rich experience that I admire them for overcoming.  I'm excited to help them overcome addiction and take in new coping skills.  I like the kids.  And especially since I'm not really a disciplinarian, I think I'll be as effecitive as can be expected.

Class on Thursday and Friday are kindof an afterthought.  Haven't really freaked out about them yet, although they each will teach me good skills to broaden my current experience.  I'll learn techniques in 8 different theories to apply in my theraputic travel sack, I'll learn more about general policy from a real Juvenile Court Judge, I'm learning more and more about the official diagnostic manual for all Mental Health professionals, one class focuses specifically on social welfare policy regarding our nation's baby boomers, and the last is a research methods class...I'm most excited about all of the OTHER ones :)

Recoup

After the intense July month, Dale and I have been really happy to have a bit of uneventful time before things change again.  This time has given us opportunity to expand our social circle in Salt Lake, and see who will brave the 40 mile move to maintain friendships.  So far, it's been awesome to see:

Ben and Elise Bowen
Duane and Elyse Bennett
Clancy Clawson
Sean and Emily Nowling
Laura and Dwane Phillips
Jeanelle and Corbin McCabe
Wendy and Steven Burton
Carissa Johnson
Scott and Bree Hunter

I know that may seem silly to count the friends you've had visiting, but it's a direct fall out from counting your blessings.  We just moved 7 weeks ago, and there have been lonely moments.  Not every couple in a new place has been this fortunate.

It was also special to have Nanette, Jeremy, Heather, John, and Liam just HAPPEN to be in Utah for independent events so we could share an afternoon together and eat lunch.  I really like my siblings.

Family Adventures

My mother and three of my siblings and their entire families joined Dale and I in Utah this weekend for an extended family reunion.  The reunion was a great excuse, but I was most interested in the 7 adults and 7 children of my immediate family being in town together for 52 hours.

Wheeler Farm, tour of my new place,
Rodeo
    We sat 6 rows behind the livestock the cowboys tried to wresle with.  I couldn't help laughing every time the pooped!  We saw bucking bronco's and the bull rides, but my favorite was the one where two guys had to rope a cow and milk it, racing to the judges to show them their milk first in order to win!

Tubing down the Provo River
    We thought 7 adults and 7 children (the oldest at 6 years old) would be okay in 7 tubes.  You know, one child in each adult's lap?  Well, 25 yards into the float, Amber pulled herself, her infant, and her toddler out of the event.  100 yards down the river, Jeremy's wife and infant got upturned and panicked which pulled that family out of the river, Mom lost her tube trying to help... and 6 of us (3 adults and 3 children) made it down the river in safety!  The others were left to walk through the brambles bare-footed, until they were able to hitch hike a ride back to the Tube Rental establishment. 
     May sound like a nightmare, but really was at least a story, and a nice way to view the mountians in the canyon.

Thanksgiving Pointe Dinosaur Museum
     "The largest Dinosaur Museum in the world. Literally."  Nough Said.  The cutest part was when Nathan and Jeremy had to play with the dinosaur sized velcro stuffed parts to build their own dinosaur.  Loved it!

On Sunday, we all got together for dinner and played games the whole afternoon and evening.  Dale loves games and is really good at pulling a group together around them because he gets so passionate :).  With the weekend over, we'll go swimming and play games on Monday and Tuesday nights... I love my family, and I'll miss them when they leave again.

Countdown to quit begins... and I'm feeling trunky

Back to a normal day at work.  With all of the holidays and a week taken off for graduate school, I am only working a total 9 days in the month of July.  As you can imagine, those days have been intense.  I just got back from my last 4-day weekend, and now I get to chill at the computer processing paperwork that isn't so complecated I can't listen to Matt Wertz and Mika through the head phones on the computer.  Here's to 16 days 3.9 hours of work left before grad school.

Success!!!!

For those of you who haven't heard yet, Dale was hired at Teleperformace USA on Thursday!

After over 3 months of focused job search, 8 interviews at 5 different companies, and 4 hours of testing at his final choice, Dale will be a Technical Support Agent starting August 2nd.  This first position is a big deal as it gets his foot in the door of a reputable world-wide business.  We're excited to see what happens and what this will mean for us.

He's been job searching for over 3 months now, and I am proud of, and grateful to him for his continuing effort and hope when I would have been rendered useless in his position.

Best of luck, honey!  I'm excited to live this with you.

Grad School: Week 1

I just completed my first week of graduate school classes today.  It was a summer block, so the classes are already over and I am filled with conflicting emotions.

a.  I came into this fearful that I wouldn't be able to do a simester's worth of work in one week.  I came to learn that the two classes were pass/fail and required little more than attendance for 8 hours a day. So, positive.  I did learn how to read and use the DSM-IV.  I can tell the difference between scizophrenaform disorder and a paranoid delusional disorder, and can also tell you what a dissociative fugue is.  I also was the subject observed in a dream therapy demonstration and was reduced to tears in front of a grad student class of 60 people.  (I learned from this that I can bite off and chew public speaking and improvisation, but it is hard to stomach for the continuing 3 days of full time class).  I learned about the anthropological development of marriage, and how intimacy is expressed and can be taught through couple's sessions.  Those were the highlights.  That and a lot of Countertransferrance and Judgement discussions, teaching me how to use my instincts to ask questions.  Basically a lot of grad students practicing therapy on eachother as we present actual conflicts and issues from our lives.  Kinda like nursing students jabbing eachother in flobotamy class.

b.  I paid over $2000 in tuition plus books for these classes.  That's roughly $50 per hour just for sitting in class.  Fortunately I had paid vacation time stored up at work, but it is going to be a HARD transition as I quit my job for the fall semester beginning in 5 weeks. In my senior year of undergrad I had an internship as a Medical Social Worker Intern.  I was not paid and my father was aghast at the school blackmailing me for free labor as a professional.  I thought he was so silly, and just had to learn that school was something that took advantage of you.  I have now been working as a professional for the last year, and have gotten used to an income.  Not only am I quitting work to do this, but I am paying them to sit in a class room.  I DO have an internship that fortunately pays a stipend equal to minimum wage--which I am grateful for--but this seems like a lot bigger of a sacrifice this time around.  There have been several times this week when I have asked myself "Why am I doing this?" and had to just trust myself and stick to the plan I made when I applied.

For better or for worse, in 13 months time I WILL have a master's degree in Social Work.  What might scare you more is that I WILL be a therapist operating under a lisence in less than 2 months...  Feels kinda ethereal, and I'm planning to have fun in the coming years figuring out what it all means :)

Travelogue 2010, Entry 3: Montana Rustic

A week after we moved in, Dale and I got to escape our world of boxes for a Fourth of July trip to the Montana!  With a 6 day weekend, and two days of 10 hour drives on each end, we enjoyed 4 days of Montana Summer.  Each time we go here, I'm struck with the singular vacation experience of a vacation to the Rockies.  For example, as soon as we arrived, we were welcomed with a beautifully mild day with barbecued burgers eaten on the back porch deck with a view of the valley below.  Warren and Wendy, Dale's folks, live on a mountian on the outskirts of a national park, and the view below includes a lake and an island.

  We visited old co-workers at the local Community College and played games that first day.  Saturday was, of course, reserved for fishing.  Although I don't really have the stomach to kill my own food--illogical, I know--Dale had a great time racing his parents to the count.  I did catch one fish, as my contribution to the event, and took pictures of Dale catching, de-hooking, and holding several fish he caught.  My favorite part was watching the raptors.  As soon as we pulled into the lake, I saw them, and wondered how big they must be.  Warren identified a bald eagle being chased by a golden eagle.  It wasn't just a matter of intimidation, because that Gold eagle continued to chase every other bird over an 8 inch wing span out of her territory for the next 45 minutes.  She called and dived and climbed and made such an appearance that I named her Blondie, and decided I MUST have her to take home with me.  Just wait, she will be mine.

The end count was 70 fish between the four of us. 

We were fortunate enough to obtain some Nascar tickets for that night, but the games were closed for rain, to the great disappointment of all.  Some day we'll make it, and these elusive games will all of a sudden make sense to me.  Dale says he just likes to watch them crash... which seems a little gladiatoristic to me, but this is the same woman speaking who did enjoy a rodeo.

The fourth of July passed watching fireworks from a neighbor's lakehouse view, as all of the neighbors with teenage kids put on the show. 

Dale's birthday was July 5th and passed relaxed, taking home many of his childhood belongings to be a part of the home we're building together.  This may sound like an itinerary, and if so, read it again, but imagine it in forests of evergreen trees and sparsely populated national forest land.

The Big Move

On June 26th, Dale and I moved out of our itsy bitsy 1st time married student apartment in Provo to a beautiful, professional, slightly less itsy bitsy apartment in Salt Lake!  Dale had worked hard for WEEKS before hand to pack all of our belongings and stack them in boxes from floor to ceiling all along the east wall of our apartment.  I had been trying not to stress about it, and had therefore seriously under planned.  Dale really saved us by working hard on it each day, and still allowing our lives to be liveable.

We packed full time for the last three days we lived there, and the day finally came.  We had almost a dozen friends show up in Provo to help us load the cars and clean the apartment (THANK YOU!!!) and in the end it only took us three truck loads and one car load.  One cute story: a new couple from upstairs stopped in to ask if we needed help during the first run.  I thanked them, but had plenty of help at that point, and they asked me to get them if more help was needed.  Dale and his best friend Clancy took the first two truck load's haul to Salt Lake, and it was about an hours and a half before they got back.  We had everything in a pyramid of boxes just to be hauled out... but no people left to do it!  I went to the new couple's place and asked them to stick to their offer.  They were having a World Cup party (Ghana beat the US) and were kindof busy, but since it would only take about 15 minutes, all 9 strapping 22 year old men came down from the party to get us all packed and on our last load to Salt Lake in less than 10 minutes!  Pretty cool.

We got to our new place and I saw the ACTUAL apartment for the first time.  It had been freshly repainted with carpet that is only VERY lightly worn.  Our old apartment was roughly 500 square feet and it's floor plan had all the creativity of a block of wood.  This new place is set up in a square rather than a straight line, and has the addition of a dining room, double sized bathroom, double sized bedroom closet, 150% sized bedroom, and central heating and air!  We're on the third story with an amazing view of a little grove outside, and ... it really is perfect.

My favorite part is when I am driving in from work and get to pass through the little lane welcoming me into the complex.  30 foot tall Birch trees line the road and little bits of pollen float through the air like fairy dust.  I may sound melodramatic, but that's really how it looks!

A Quarter Century of Me!!!

25 years previous to this upcoming Saturday, I was born in the front bedroom of my childhood home in the San Fernando Valley.  I wasn't cogniscent at the time, and there weren't any pictures of me actually coming out of the womb (thank goodness), but from what I've been told, my 5 older siblings were there and a midwife delivered me--since after 5 other deliveries, my mom was such a pro not to need a doctor any more.  The constructed memory is somewhat graphic, and I think I'd rather euphamize what we're celebrating into a "Birthday" rather than detailing the day of my birth.

After 25 years of life, I feel like I'm OFFICIALLY cresting into what the professional world considers adulthood.  Since I got hired I've been telling everyone I'm 25.  When you're working with 40 and 50 year olds, it makes me seem like less of an upstart usurper.  I think I might be "25" for the next  7 years or so.  Then I might upgrade to 29...

So, my husband had a stroke of luck that he turned into a stroke of genius.  Many of  you may have already experienced the Winco free hotdogs/hotdog buns/soda/chips coupon that came in the mail last Thursday... Well, it turns out that no one in our complex did, because overflowing the trashcan near the mailbox was a dozen discarded coupons!  Dale collected them, got our friend Sean, and visited every checkout station in the Orem Winco, taking a set of party food with him each time! HAHA!  When I got home and saw the tower of weenie roast products sitting on the counter, I had little idea of what to do.  We decided to have a freaking sweet party, and with planning it JUST coincided with my birthday!  So, happy day to me, I get to have my first birthday party in 5 years!  

I'm excited and nervous, but Dale is VERY good at party throwing, and we're going to use the pool/barbecque area in our complex to set the scene.  I'm so grateful to my sweetheart who takes care of me so well and wants me to be so happy.  His birthday is in less than a month and we're going to Montana for that weekend.  Any ideas from the crowd as to what I could do for him that would be as good?

Travelogue 2010, Trip 2: Northridge, CA

After we finished the Las Vegas plans, we realized that with my 4-day work week, and the paid holidays of the summer coming up, we have a whole bunch of 4 day weekends, and possible vacation time to use! Our fun summer plans reside in some fun trips to see the family, Memorial Day and Independence Day making these visits possible. We chose to spend the first weekend (4 days extended to 6 days with a careful use of office leave time) with my parents in the LA suburbs. We made the 700-some-mile drive in a record 9 hours and 15 minutes (as airfare for that weekend would have been $600+ for the two of us) and walked into the house I grew up in.

I love that house. It’s a good 20 miles from the beach, but compared to Utah’s heavily insulated snow-ready construction, it feels a lot like a beach house. The windows are thin, and they have that creaky sun-cracked paint sound when you crank them open. The floors creak, but it’s hard-wood the entire house through, hard-wood floors, knotty pine shelving in the kitchen and game area, wooden slabs on the walls instead of dry wall, wooden boards running the length of the ceilings instead of plaster. Slate and granite in the kitchen, but the kind that is baked from the sun instead of worn with snow, and with stains on the windowsills from raspberries and tomatoes from the garden waiting to ripen in the heat of the afternoon.

I love that house. And the best part is that it is full of windows. French doors, windows that swing open, a greenhouse with a spa drained of water and full of play-pen balls. Windows that pour sunshine in: cool in the morning, hot and yellow from the south, fading orange through the leaves in the evening. Windows that bring the faint smell of honeysuckle on the breeze when you open them.

I had time to clean up from the car trip and into some presentable clothes before I saw my family. I put on white shorts and did my hair up in a relaxed style for a hot day hanging out, and Dale asked me why I don’t experiment with outfits in Utah. I realized it had been 13 months since I’d been warm, and my husband had never seen me in the shorts I’ve owned for years.

I really enjoyed picking the berries in my mother’s side yard. I felt so picturesque hunting through the thorny vines to find the deepest red berries, so red they are nearly black, but not so ripened that they have been turned into rock hard raisins. I stepped into the garden bed, behind a wall of vines that had climbed over a 4 foot lattice and grown so densely that I couldn’t be seen by an observer from the other side, except for the rustling of leaves that result from my careful movements. I searched in the densest areas, sure that as I reached for the treasure trove of berries hidden by leaves and vines, I’d get jumped by a deadly spider! I was taking my life in my hands here. I wanted the best crop of berries, so I was not satisfied with only searching the regularly used front growths. Careful to place my steps lightly and slowly, I avoided all but the superficial scratches that come from hunting logan berries. Remembering years of summers when I had harvested concord grapes in these same garden beds, the most excited moments were when someone could find an especially large bounty of these berries for my mother. She loves these berries best of any treat in the garden, and the crop from them isn’t always large. If you could find a liter of berries from one picking, you had done well, and probably found a heretofore unknown cluster of ripe berries, going above and beyond the efforts of a regular harvester! With the help of my husband, taking berries from my hand as I leaned into precarious, and potentially painful, positions, we came out with such a harvest, and I was able to give my mother a gift.

We went to the beach and felt the hot sand on our feet. We searched for shells in the sand with my 4 year old niece, and convinced my 2 year old nephew that his father wasn’t gone into danger, just to ride on a surf board. I road on the waves too, only torso deep, as the water was still was pretty chill. I loved it as a true life-long beach lover would.

The day I went back to work this week, I recognized a different feel that hasn’t been part of my life. It’s the variety of care-free that leaves the rise and fall of waves in your heart, and the bake of salt and heat on your lips. It’s the kind of endorphins that come when everything you gaze on is in the best light, because it’s been hit by natural comfort and sun. I got to remember a time when I felt this in my life daily. I’m determined to bottle that feeling and bring it into my life continuously again.

Immigration ala Lindy

My sister-in-law's social networking page had an interesting exchange on it. It educated me a little bit, and I really appreciated the attitude of the exchange. I thought I might share:

Initial Post:

"The Mexican population law, article 67 says: "Authorities, whether federal, state or municipal ... Are required to demand that foreigners prove their legal presence in the country, before attending to any issues.""

E:Hope you have your papers in hand next time you go to AZ. I figure everyone with brown hair and eyes better be prepared to be stopped for being brown. ;)

C:It's not about racial discrimination, it's about being a legal citizen. You wouldn't be stopped for how you look, you would only be stopped if you did something illegal (which if you get pulled over for no matter where you are you would be required to show some kind of documentation, ie: driver's license, etc).

N:It is so interesting being so close to the drama here in Az. I was talking to chad about it all and he informed me when he was in Brazil he had to keep his Passport and papers on him at all times. I just wish that it would stop being a political jumping board and for people to really look at the law and laws in other countries before they jump to the law being a race issue!

Ch:So, since my husband is German and looks exactly like everyone else in this country, does he still have to carry them around too? Or will he get stopped for looking...American? Stupid AZ

Poster: When [my husband] lived in Germany for two years, he had to have his papers on him at all times, and check in with each new city when he moved.

I'm an immigrant. I'd rather have to carry my documents with me all the time to prove that I'm allowed to be here, than to know that people aren't here legally.

I just think it's funny that Mexico's law (which is what was quoted above) is more strict than Arizona's.

Alana (me):Sad that your political statement went over everyone's head! I guess that's just a token that Americans need to be more educated on this than find red flags of discrimination everywhere.

Ch:I think, then, that they also need to be reminded that this country has long been a great melting pot. And having just gone through the green card process, I can completely understand why people would try to be here illegally. It's complicated and expensive for someone like my husband who is here through work and now marriage, and has been a taxpayer for 5 years and did everything correctly. Maybe there should be fewer laws excluding people, and more education to help them stay here legally.

Poster:You're right. I went through the process. It's by no means easy, or cheap, or fun, or fast for that matter. I moved to the U.S. in 1992. I had a green card for 12 years before I became a citizen in 2004. The process sucks. But that's how it works. Just like how it sucks to go to the DMV, or sometimes the post office. But that's your option if you want a driver's license or want to mail a letter.

I also learned a lot while I went through the citizenship process - like why it has to be so hard. They fingerprint you and do a background check so they know they're not letting some serial killer or bank robber into the country. They interview you to see if you speak a basic conversational amount of English. They test your basic knowledge of the country's history and government - so you are at least somewhat aware of what you're getting into.

What most people don't realize is that EVERY country has immigration laws and processes. It's not easy to become a citizen anywhere. It's not just the U.S. picking on people...even though I hated the year or more I spent completing the process, I at least see why they had to do it.

B: It IS funny. If you go anywhere else in the world, say, France...you have to have your paperwork or VISA. Mexicans, or Canadians, or whoever, are not exempt just because we're all neighbors. We ALL pay the price in the end.

And the comments continued. Not only was this a very respectful political exchange, but it reminds me that America is not the only one with immigration laws. Draw whatever conclusions about it that you must, but I've gotta say, this makes the people boycotting AZ sound a whole lot more unfounded.

I'm married, so this doesn't apply to me anymore, but I still found this video pretty dang funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBVVLFfbAo

I can't get the video to save onto my computer, but it's put together by a bunch of late 20 somethings in one of my old single's wards. Just so you know, the cultural joke is,
NCMO=Non-Commital Make Out.

Graceful Politics

I wrote to my political representatives this week. I felt like the American Deaf population needed some support in continuing funding for their telephone services. I drafted a letter stating what I felt like, how the current program was a good service to the people, and how if the funding cut by 50%, as was planned, all Deaf telephone interpretation services in the country would go bankrupt.

I said it nicely, with respect for how these people might be feeling that day, and signed it with my credentials as an educated and experienced person on this issue.


I’d like to contrast that respectful communication with a certain phrase that is circulating through popular political commentary: “trying to destroy our Country.” I recently made a comment on a friend’s networking website, and was responded to with the statement “People who are trying to destroy our country deserve to be spoken unkindly about.”

Really? Do you really believe that the people who are on the other side of the bi-partisan spectrum from you are actively trying to “destroy the country?” I hear this phrase repeated in spam emails and by political commentators. Do these people actually believe that when Nancy Pellosi wakes up in the morning, that she immediately begins crafting a plan for how she can nuke Texas? Or that our President is actively trying to introduce flesh-eating piranha into the sewer systems to attack us on the john?

To me it just sounds like an excuse to loose your temper or vilify someone else. And it sounds like its own brand of ignorance.

The people who we ask to make choices for the country are just like you and me. I submit that if you were in their position, you might be doing the same as them: trying to address the problems that you see in society. Our country is nothing if we do not stand together and support our leaders. I see it as the highest mark of maturity to stand up for the Presidency when your candidate lost. If you do not agree with the direction the country is taking, write letters RESPECTFULLY. Lobbying is not mudslinging. And spouting verbal sewage on your couch is not going to make our country a better place.

Guide to a Sober Las Vegas Vacation

During the cold February months when there was little to look forward to other than layers of long johns and bad traffic, Dale and I planned a little get away. Dale's graduation, and our First Anniversary gave a good excuse for us to have our first trip "just because we wanted to," and we planned and dreamed for months for our trip to Vegas!

Dale and I asked our good friends and neighbors, the Nowlings, to go with us, and booked rooms at the Sahara Hotel. Now, whenever I told people I was going to Las Vegas for the weekend, they gave me this look--like a disappointed (but lenient) parent, or a mischievous "I know what you're up to" teenager--and I was completely shocked each time they responded that way. Yes, there are plenty of intensely stupid things to do in that town, but there is more to do in a beautiful city than engage in illicit activities. In defense of that statement, I have assembled this itinerary and picture story of the clean--and mostly free--fun we had, and invite any others to do the same!

(Note: all * marked activities were FREE!!)

Roller Coasters at NYNY

M&M World *

MGM Lion Habitat *

Mandalay Bay Shark Reef and Aquarium

Cheesecake Factory

Landscape Art Galleries *

Bellagio Fountains *

Shopping at Caesar's Palace *

Performances at the top of the Circus Circus Tent *

A stop at the Picture Booth to collect a row of silly faces

Travel to the top of the Eiffel Tower replica (50% size) in Paris, Las Vegas

      --An example of the view from up top

Peruse the Bellagio Gardens *

Walk through the Venetian shops and outdoor fountains *

Hang out by the pool in the good weather *

A Las Vegas buffet at Texas Station

Walk through Downtown Las Vegas at Freemont Street *(getting a little bit of spirit from the local Gay Rights Demonstration)

 --Notice the show on the world's largest Movie Screen (very appropriately playing Queen in honor of the ensuing demonstration.)

Explore the Stratosphere* (we decided against going on the roller coasters on top because two of our party claimed a fear of heights)

Parouse the Luxor and take pictures next to the weird statues in front *

Watch the Mirage Volcano erupt *

And then go home.  Don't spend more than 3 days there if you don't have family in town.

What happened in April

This month started out with April Fool’s Day, and for the first time I realized how much I seriously dislike that particular holiday. Maybe I’m just the model April Fool, but I was just ticked that I couldn’t trust any of my friend’s announcements of boyfriends, engagements, and pregnancies—even when they are accompanied by ultrasound pictures in the email. Lame.

General Conference weekend was fun with Dale’s Mom—Wendy—in town. We watched from home, and weaved baskets out of recycled trash baskets. Dale got really into it. We dyed eggs for Easter with Sean and Emily (some of our closest neighbors) and played games making baskets where Dale and I shopped for each other on a $4 budget. Easter Sunday woke up to hidden candy in makeshift baskets out of purses and milk jugs—no I will not post the pictures, as I’m still shiny and frizzy in each one of them! :P We got together with Lindy, Shane, and Wendy (Dale’s family) for a traditional family dinner of ham and marshmallow fluff, and visited for the holiday evening.


My brother Jeremy announced that he’s publishing his dissertation (that took him the last half a dozen years, it seems), my brother Ian’s wife, Alex, gave birth to twins, and Jeremy turned 31 on the 12th. My sister Nanette is going to Ghana for a humanitarian trip, and my siblings and I got together through a 3 week long email conference to choose a middle name to give my mother for her birthday this month and finally pared it down to 5 names for her to choose from. Lots of fun guys! I really enjoyed it. Mom’s Birthday, Dale’s Finals, Dale’s graduation, Dale’s interviews.

We went out for dates at hole-in-the-wall Provo places, took walks, and went to some awesome jazz concerts on campus. Signed up for Summer and Fall graduate school classes, bought books, and apartment hunted in Salt Lake.


I was awarded an internship with a stipend for my MSW program starting in August. Big news for anyone trying to pay tuition. I’ll be at ARTEC with SLC Valley Mental Health, hopefully in their Substance Abuse Treatment Center.

Somewhere in there I’ve been experimenting with breakfast foods. I successfully made peach syrup out of canned peaches, did the 10-day process for Amish Friendship Bread, and unsuccessfully tried to make marmalade syrup by sending an orange through the food processor and simmering it down with sugar…

The month will finish off with a Graduation/Anniversary trip to Vegas this weekend! More info to come when we’ve gotten back!


P.S. Happy Birthday Ian!


Hurrah for spring!

My husband graduated college this weekend!!

And I’m SO excited for him. At first, you’re looking at it, and as finals are done, the graduation ceremony seems like an arbitrary day passing by—I mean, you don’t even get your diploma until weeks later—but the rite of passage has been completed, and now he will be a college graduate for the rest of his life. Dale’s parents came into town (great to see you guys!), and I took a day off work because there is NO way I am going in to work on the day my husband is graduating college. We heard the speakers, he wore the gown, we celebrated at Olive Garden for dinner, and then in true Dale celebration style, we watched movies and ate Doritos and iced cream until we crashed!

Great Weekend, Great Accomplishment, Great Husband.

Imagine your world without a car or phone

The basic needs of a surviving individual are food, shelter, and clothing. There are people all around us who are scraping by or struggling for this level of existence, but this post is not a bout for pity or guilt.


The next basic needs of a functioning individual are food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and communication. If you can manage these basic functioning needs, then you are seen as a successful person and can make it on your own.

Think about it. I, for one, feel a stab of emotion when thinking of what it might be like to live homeless, or on the street. I also can faintly imagine what it is like to be REALLY hungry, and exposed to the elements because I don’t have the proper clothing. But I don’t really think about my survival on the same level when I think of having a car and a phone.

I used to gripe about my teaching pool on my mission, how we couldn’t get people to meet their commitments because they just plain didn’t have resources to get to church. I remember glorying in one particular woman because she was a person we baptized with a job, a car, and a phone. She would therefore be able to be a strength to the ward.

I would gripe because their physical living circumstances were not my profession at that point. I was focusing on their spiritual functioning and hope.

I have since been involved with people’s physical needs, and attempting to promote their social functioning, not merely survival. When someone comes to my desk and has somewhere to live and can function within their food stamps grant, I think of them as pretty safe. They can use a family member or a neighbor to leave messages, and I can get them a bus pass. I have not yet met someone who didn’t have life-sustaining clothing, but I can get a woman 10 sets of work clothing per year if needed. If I ever get to that point, I’m sure I’ll find something.

But think about how hard that would be. You are in a place where you need state help, perhaps you have a child you’ve never needed to care for before, and this drastically changes your needs. Maybe your mother is now sick and someone needs to stay home and take care of her. Your phone has been cancelled and you can’t afford gas money for your car. You’re surviving through the grace of food stamps and a $400 monthly financial grant, but there are these letters that keep coming in the mail asking you to fill out papers and call in for interviews to clarify the last papers you filled out. If you don’t respond to any one of these within 10 days, your benefits will be closed.

Think about doing all of that and trying to get a job. First step: go to the library to use their computers (if you even have computer skills), and let’s say you get an interview! You need to take the bus 45 minutes and 3 connections to get there. More likely, this bus ride will be just to fill out an application because most people I see in this situation can’t navigate a keyboard, much less attach and email a functioning resume.

Next step, have a phone number for them to call you back on. …um. There is your neighbor who has agreed to let people call their phone to leave messages for you, but she’s not too prompt or organized with your calls, and you’re starting to feel like a pest.

You can imagine how difficult this becomes. Walking to fill out applications, waiting for phone calls, and still trying to find a way to pay the utilities each month.

Just think about how life would be without your car. Would you be able to get to work/the grocery store? Once you’d lost your job, how long would your savings hold out until you were on the other side of a desk like mine? Would you walk to every employment opportunity imaginable and take whatever you could? Imagine how your life would be different. And then once you’ve gotten that job, imagine living on $1000 per month—what one earns in a full-time minimum wage job after taxes. That translates into $12,000 per year. Imagine how you would ever get out of that.

All I’m saying is, be grateful for your phone and car.

A lack of child care is a whole different story.

Last Day of School

Today I saw my husband off to his last day of college.

I’m so proud of him! That may sound a little corny and intense, but it really is fun for me.

Dale and I are really close, and it’s great to see what a sweet best friendship we are developing. He tells me all about his worries and tries, and he comforts and spoils me when I’m freaking out. He tells me all about his classes and the crazy characters who attend… and of course, how much he wants to be DONE. After having been with him for half of his college experience, I think I’m more excited than he is that he’s graduating!

Dale has been working on a Bachelor’s of Business Management—Human Resources since Fall of 2004. He took 2 years off for a mission in the Czeck Republic and Slovakia, but since then it’s been semester after semester. I’m excited for him to stop, take some time off, and enjoy life for a few weeks before diving in to full time employment.

When I graduated a year ago, I wasn’t too excited about it either. Partially because I had JUST finished scheduling every moment of my life studying for tests and completing assignments, and still had to study for and take a national licensing exam before I was really finished, and I was getting married the week after —my brain was so full of intellectual tasks that I didn’t have time to process excitement!

To celebrate and help Dale know how much I appreciated him sticking it out and finishing a degree, we’re taking a long weekend to VEGAS!! In three weekends, Dale, myself, and another couple are gonna get out of Utah for an adventure somewhere warmer. I want to go swimming because I am hot, and see buildings that were built for form rather than function.

Dale, babe, I’m proud of you, and am so excited for us both!

What we’re doing now

Dale and I have transitioned into a routine that is different than our efforts even 6 months ago. And none of you guys know about it.


First thing you should know is that Dale and I are a team. Our goal is to one day have a family.

Working towards that Goal, Dale has been working on finishing his degree, and I (who finished my undergrad in April ’09) have been working at Utah Department of Workforce Services.

Dale wakes up with me Monday through Thursdays at 6:00am, even though he doesn’t have class until 8:00am. I work 10 hour shifts and commute into Salt Lake, and the marathon work weeks are so much more of a comfort when Dale is there with me in the morning to share in teases and hug in passing. We get out the door (hopefully) before 6:45am, and hold hands in the car until I have to drop him off at school.

I make it 38.7 miles into work by speeding, tailgating, and cutting off those who dare to venture under 75 in the fast lane (hopefully) on time at 7:30am. The workday is usually a blur, but I’m developing jokes with my co-workers, and occasionally I get to see people who have been in crisis as they get jobs and begin to be able to meet their bills.

I call him on my morning and afternoon breaks and I like to be involved in his life and have him hear about mine, even though we spend half of the week away from each other.

While I’m gone Dale has been studying and going to class, walking back and forth to our apartment and exercising on our retro 90’s Nordic Track. He produces top grade quality papers and homework assignments in record time, usually able to clean up the house and find something fun for us to do that night and be free for me when I get home.

I make it back (usually) by 7:00pm and am always welcomed by a husband who drops everything to let me melt into a cuddly hug. Our evenings are filled with good food, friends, and entertainment, and Dale helps me by going to bed with me by 9:30 each night. So proud of my selfless husband, and so lucky to be with him.

Weekends are spent recovering from the marathon, usually in a coma and appreciating several good movies and online TV shows.

Yeah, not too adventurous, but it's our life, and we're being happy. I thought the world could use a little more of the simple sweetness in what I posted today.

Weather Report

Yesterday there was a wind storm in Salt Lake. It was disgusting.

When you think of Salt Lake, do you think of smog? People think of Los Angeles and think of smog. Ironically, I never noticed any REAL smog in LA. It was sunny and hot and tanned, you could see the brown on the horizon or blocking the mountains sometimes, but it was never so thick that I couldn’t see through it, and it was always limited to one level of the atmosphere. I grew up there, and while the smog would build up gradually, if it ever got too bad on the horizon, we always knew that it would blow away in the next windstorm, or fall to the ground in the next rain.

…Safe to say, I am acquainted with smog. In Salt Lake, air pollution is a whole different story.

I’ve lived in Provo off and on since 2003. Maybe I was too blinded by the young adult independence and intense social life, but I never noticed the air tasting like an industrial deep frier that has been used too much, or going for a walk outside and coming back with my hair smelling like dirt. I have worked in Salt Lake for 6 months, now, and have noticed those things and more. As I make my 37.9 mile commute every morning, I am welcomed to the half way point by coming over “point of the mountain” and into the bowl of soupy air. On a good morning, it just looks like early morning haze and blows smoke in from the ventilation ducts in your car. On a bad morning, you can’t see two cars ahead of you. “No, that must be just early morning fog,” you may be thinking to yourself, and maybe it does just burn off, but I wouldn’t know. The only times I step outside are during my drive in and out in the evening, and the two 15 minute walks I take, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The air often tastes like old French fries.

I know there’s Geneva Steel that apparently polluted the hell out of Utah Lake, but when I think of Salt Lake, I’m not usually comparing it to Detroit. So where did all of this come from? It’s been explained to me that it’s something called “inversion.” The first thing that you need to know about inversion is that Salt Lake is actually in the Salt Lake Valley, bordered immediately on the East by the Rocky Mountains. This makes a lovely bowl with a densely packed eastern border that averages at a height of 11,000 feet. This allows Salt Lake to collect all of the passing pollution blowing out of such cities as Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Las Vegas.

I found an article in the Salt Lake Magazine that described it best for me

““Inversion” is a meteorological term that every valley dweller in Northern Utah knows and fears. A layer of warm air sits on a layer of colder air, slamming the cold down like a meat locker door. During January 1992, my first term at USU, there was a period of eight days where the average high on campus was 23 degrees and the lows averaged 5. It’s a deep, soul-sucking cold. The wind never stirs. Ice crystals wander amid stagnant air. Nothing thaws, not even a trickle.

And it’s gray. The sun does not, in any sense of the word, “shine.” It flickers like a dim bulb. In Cache Valley, where the tighter valley walls exacerbate the effect, there are times when you can’t see 50 yards. A grim smoke fills in the edges of your vision, made worse by the knowledge that every wisp from every tailpipe, chimney belch, cow fart or exhaled cigarette is floating in this toxic stew.

A prolonged inversion is a natural joke. The punchline? It defies Utah’s clean-cut, caffeine-free, low-calorie image. The Utah winter in the mind’s eye is snowcapped mountains soaring into clear blue skies, and besweatered families cuddling on couches in front of roaring fires while thick flakes fall in the moonlit night…. But each winter, for a few days it gets bad enough that the Wasatch Front and Cache Valley make the EPA’s most-wanted list. Children and the elderly are kept indoors. The curtain is drawn on the blue skies and snowy mountaintops and the roaring fires are extinguished by the Red Burn proscription. Utah routinely beats the smog capital of the world, Los Angeles, in this race toward the toxic.”

It gives me hope that the nasty inversion is going to stop eventually. After yesterday’s wind storm mixing the soup of dirty air, I’m pretty glad it’s snowing today. Maybe all that air pollution will come down to earth and all I’ll have to worry about is my feet.

Message of this post: visit Salt Lake in the summer only.

(The picture above is a combination of a Sunday when the pollution was bad, and the Wednesday following after a winter storm blew the pollution away)

I enjoy cooking… a lot

I was watching the cooking channel this weekend and found myself craving every single thing they cooked (minus sea food—YUCK!). I watched Rachel Ray and Missy Paula put together chicken salad and cheesy biscuits with bacon bits… I even watched a chef battle of the Mac ‘n Cheese. I came home and made my own. Kind of a let down if you’re in the mood to combine ingredients, chop vegetables, and get caught up in the romance of cooking a beautifully complicated dish… but really tastey, and pretty darn easy.

Alana’s Mac ‘n Cheese
Boil water over stove and add 4 oz of pasta
When pasta is al dente, drain water and move pasta from saucepan to mixing bowl
Add 1 ½ TBS margarine to pasta, allowing it to melt on hot noodles and mix so all pasta has an equal coating
Add 1/3 -½ Cup shaker cheese (usually parmesian)
Shake in Garlic (to taste)
Add whatever dry steak seasoning you happen to have in your cupboard (to taste)
Stir until dry cheese melts with butter and all ingredients are equally mixed.

Dang good, man. I had left overs for lunch today.