Pass/Fail

After months of steadily increasing moaning, worrying, and requests for prayers, yesterday I took my master's level licensure test.  Just the anticipation of the test was killing me.  I spent at least 2 hours every week day for over 5 weeks studying every study guide I could get my hands on.  I met with three separate study groups which kept materializing and vaporizing as people took the test and lost interest in everyone else's need to learn. Psh!

Here's what I was up against:

Four hours to assess and answer 170 multiple choice questions

The test is pass/fail

Utah rules dictate a 70% score to pass

If I don't pass the test, I can't get a job using over 80% of what I was trained in for my degree

1 out of every 4 people who take the licensure test FAIL

If you fail, you can take it again, but you have to wait 90 days between tests, and that's 90 days of jobs you can't work in the mean time

Oh, and it costs $260 every time you try to take it

With these lovely thoughts running through my head, I headed for the testing center.  Not too far away, this time.  My undergraduate licensure testing center was 4 hours away from where I happened to be living at the time, but even though I left home an hour before I needed to be at the testing center, I still managed to panic with the directions and get lost a little...

"Piaget: cognitive development (stimulus/response, pre-operational, operational, abstract), Erickson: psychosocial development (trust/mistrust, autonomy/doubt, initiative/guilt, identity, love, generativity, life reflection), Mahler: attachment stages, Kohler: moral development, Gilligan: feminist views, or was attachment theory another guy... but Freud's daughter talked about stranger anxiety in infants too..."  These kind of thoughts are OH so fun to dwell on as the front desk woman checks my driver license, passport, palm scan, right index finger print, and takes my picture to make sure I am not trying to take the test for someone else.  Dang, you'd think I was trying to get into the FBI.  I consider a last ditch request to Facebook friends to pray for me for the next 4 hours, but then if I failed, everyone would ask questions and know...

I'm not allowed to take in paper, the yellow dry erase board they give me to write notes on is disorienting, and I have to move the keyboard off the desk because I'm used to taking this test with a pen and not through a computer.  2 hours, 51 minutes and 46 seconds later--averaging about 1 minute per question--I check out of my test, wait for the print out at the front desk, and

I PASSED!!

(Que streamers, fireworks, trumpets and confetti)

I had hoped to get at least a 71%.  My average in practice tests was a 78%.  My highest score on a practice test was a 83%. 

I got 88%. 

I was absolutely floored.  Heavenly Father totally came through for me on this one.  Who knows what would have happened without his support.  I did my best, but I believe he was watching over me to help me calm down during the long and intense process, and helped my mind be clear to know what I knew.

I am grateful and successful, and as of August 3, 2011, I will be able to present myself as "Alana Tolley, CSW"